Disease suggestions

[snowblind]

Some new diseases could be set for a longer stay, e.g. a psychotic patient that visits the psychiatrist, then sleeps a while in the ward, and repeats this until he is cured.

[markhobley]

We could possible have a stretching rack as a new clinic. This could be used to cure shortness and teenagism (turning the teenager into a full sized adult).

[markhobley]

How about a back to earth clinic (requires a psychiatrist) that looks a lot like sick bay on the enterprise to cure trekkies of their obsession for wearing star trek costumes and uniforms?

What about a music clinic to cure people who have a bad taste in music?

Or maybe we could have a fashion clinic to cure people who wear grey, city suits, or dress as a gothic.

We also need to cure "speed freaks" obsessed with cars or motorbikes. These people could leave a motorbike outside the hospital entrance. Those that are delivering a pizza to the staff room or flowers to one of the nurses probably don't need treatment of course.

[tobylane]

Nice ones mark, do you want to start on the graphics? You have so many varied ideas, maybe make graphics for all of them?

[markhobley]

Yeah. We need an export on the graphics, and a body for the doctor. I was thinking of colour coding the uniforms and adding pocket stripes to indicate skills. I am also thinking of having both male and female doctors.

[agentmrx7]

Bieber fever?

[finaldest]

Name: Fish Eye
Symptoms: The patient believes that eveyone is a shark
Cause: Excessive deap sea diving
Cure: A surgeon removes sea water from the eyes
Diagnostic process: GP's office, scanner, ultrascan, Operating Theatre

[Doc. Smegma]

Oh boy, this is fun! And this is only stuff for the Pharmacy. If people enjoy these, I can embark on the Psychiatrist's collection.


Name: Festering Ryoma.

Cause: No known cause, Ryoma just appears.

Symptoms: This is pretty much the most disgusting thing ever. Nobody likes waking up slick with Ryoma.

Cure: A trained psychiatrist must first deal with the trauma of Ryoma. The patient is then referred to the pharmacy where a cocktail of antibiotics, antivirals, antifungals and soap is administered.

Path: GP ? Psy ? GP ? Pharma

Notes: Inspired by this comic that made me feel a bit ill. I hope Ryoma isn't trademarked! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=431



 
Name: The Big One

Cause: Beer, wine, Scotch, Gin and Tequila. Through a hose.

Symptoms: A headache that re-creates conditions a billionth of a second after the Big Bang.

Cure: A nurse administers a mix of egg yolks, chilli powder and rubbing alcohol, followed by a stern lecture.

Path: GP ? Pharm

Notes: Patients suffering from this 'disease' are EXTREMELY likely to un-eat a rainbow onto the floor.




Name: Tinsel-itis

Cause: Accidental or intentional consumption of festive decorations.

Symptoms: Yule logs.

Cure: Patient must drink a sweet concoction distilled from candy bars and mint humbugs. Bar Humbug.

Path: GP ? G. Diag. ? Scanner ? GP ? Pharm

Notes: These patients may need to use the toilet facitilies for a long time. If anyone can make them fart glitter, they will be my hero.



Name: Stewed Plums

Cause: Sitting for long periods with a laptop computer.

Symptoms: Uncomfortably warm and chafey crotch.

Cure: A nurse gives the patient a chilled extract of cold cream to drink, and an ice pack to take home.

Path: GP ? G. Diag. ? Cardio ? GP ? Pharm

Notes: Obviously sufferers are exclusively male. The use of the Cardio is cruel and unusual punishment.



Name: Malodorous Secretions

Cause: Patient has forsaken normal diet in favour of home-grown produce.

Symptoms: Patient's humours reek like a mix of goat's cheese, garlic and manure.

Cure: A nurse forces the patient to drink a potion containing extracts of non-organic peppermint, eucalyptus and citrus oils.

Path: GP ? Blood Machine ? GP ? Pharm

Notes: Pretty standard. Possibly patient comes covered in brown and green stains and disarrayed hair like an overworked doctor.



Name: Elastic Limit

Cause: Amateur yoga sessions.

Symptoms: Patient's connective tissues are loose, floppy and unresponsive.

Cure: Patient must drink a tonic of molten rubber to re-elasticate the tissues.

Path: GP ? Cardio ? X-ray ? GP ? Pharm

Notes: Patients could use same model as Jelly-itis sufferers.

[markhobley]

I am thinking that some patients may be in such a state that a lightning flash occurs in their toilet cubicle followed by a rumbling noise
of relief. We obviously need new animations and sounds for this.

[testjones]

Name: Continual Texting Syndrome

Cause: Handheld devices with tiny keyboards.

Symptoms: Chronically arthritic thumbs.

Cure: Patient must be administered an anxiety-inducing medication to cease desire to text.

Name: Inexplicable Chest Pain

Cause: Unexpected bad news.

Symptoms: Severe interior discomfort; mysterious irregular thumping noise.

Cure: A pair of qualified surgeons must cut out the offending organ and replace it with a functioning bovine one.

Name: Blackulitis

Cause: Midnight walks in inner-city neighborhoods.

Symptoms: Unquenchable thirst for blood, fear of daylight, oversized jewelry, saying 'honky'.

Cure: Two surgeons must delicately stake the Blackula to death while reciting Bible passages in the voice of Samuel L. Jackson.

Name: Unidentified Foreign Obstruction

Cause: Curiosity.

Symptoms: Stilted walk; inability to sit down.

Cure: Candles, soothing words, Barry White and gentle surgical yanking.

Name: Mourning After Bill

Cause: Bottle service.

Symptoms: Headache; mysterious bruises; empty bank account.

Cure: A trained psychiatrist must administer emergency financial counseling.

Name: Kiss of Death

Cause: Snitching.

Symptoms: Constant twitching, frequent name-changes, and moving often.

Cure: A qualified psychiatrist must convince the patient he has absolutely nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

Name: Arachnophobia

Cause: Shaking heavy foliage while staring upwards.

Symptoms: Patient is suffering an allergic reaction from thousands of painful bites.

Cure: A psychiatrist must convince the patient to move on with their life.

Name: Re-current Voltage

Cause: Electrical work during lightning storms.

Symptoms: Patient immediately grounded.

Cure: Hooking the patient up to a series of high-voltage capacitors will remove the excess voltage and lower our power bills.

Name: Handymenstruation

Cause: Repressed childhood desires.

Symptoms: Patient has quit their high-paying executive position to apply for a maintenance job at the hospital. (Patient dresses like handyman, uses most handyman animations; may occasionally attempt to sweep floors making them messier, kill plants through improper watering, or damage machines?)

Cure: After a mock hiring interview, one of our psychiatrists must give a comprehensive breakdown of our benefits package, convincing the patient of their huge mistake.

[kona]

It's been suggested before, but:

Code: [Select]

Name: Pregnant - Quarter way to due date
Name: Pregnant - Half way to due date
Name: Pregnant - Three Quaters of the way to due date

With added condtions.
E.g Half way to due date with worries of dropping baby. (needs psychiatric to cure)
E.g Half way to due date with stress of money. (needs ward to lay down, relax, and cure)

GPs Office, New Ultrasound,  some patients will need Psychiatric, some will need Ward.

Code: [Select]

Name: Pregnant - Due
GPs Office, New Ultrasound, New labor room (or support for labor in ward), new baby ward (or add new optional object to ward. 4x4 object that takes 4 babies.

Cure: Does ultrasound, gives labor, baby goes to baby ward, patient waits on bench (or spends same amount of time in ward as baby spends in baby ward) then goes home with the baby in a carriage
Maybe someone who has been close to a pregnancy can correct/add details. Change/add rooms, or check in times for non-due patients

[testjones]

Name: Antibiotic-Resistant Cyborgitis

Cause : Rummaging through discount appliance bins.

Symptoms : Strange mechanical lesions mysteriously immune to all antibiotics.

Treatment : A qualified researcher can reconfigure the decontamination shower to deliver a quick EMP, killing off the cyborg parts.

Name: Pullgroin

Cause : Sexual overconfidence.

Symptoms : Consistent pain during and following arousal.

Treatment : Intensive surgery is required to reconstruct the patient's naughty bits and ego.


Name: Brittle Syndrome

Cause: Roller skating near mine shafts.

Symptoms: When moving patient snaps, crackles, and pops.

Cure: A pair of qualified surgeons must replace all of the patient's bones.


Name: Regurgitating Gut Disorder

Cause: Homemade sashimi.

Symptoms: What goes down must come up.

Cure: A pharmacist must administer a laxative solution to purge the body of offending toxins.


Name: Manic Thyroid Disease

Cause: Exposure to gaseous environmental amphetamines.

Symptoms: Patient rapidly alternates between being 'amped' and 'crashing'. (patient moves twice as fast, then half as fast, occasionally collapses)

Cure: Patient must be given a fast-acting metabolic stabilizer, followed by a long nap.


Name: Persistent Flashbacks

Cause: Unexpected re-exposure to psychedelic rock.

Symptoms: Patient undergoes periodic hallucinatory psychosis. (maybe occasionally the patient pauses and pupils dilate dramatically)

Cure: A registered psychiatrist is the only one capable of talking the patient down.

[OllyBain]

Note: Most of these are dependent on a new nutritionist clinic of some sort.

Name: Athlete's foot
Cause: Hallucinogenic foot fungus causes obsession with all things athletic
Cure: Anti-fungal foot bath (Clinic then Pharmacy)
Animation: Dressed as a marathon runner.
Diagnostic process: GP. General Diagnostic. Foot clinic. Pharmacy.

Name: Healthy eating
Cause: Excesses of fruit and vegetables causing listlessness
Cure: Enforced enfusion of burgers and cheese (from nutritionist's fridge)
Animation: None.
Diagnostic process: GP, Psychiatrist, Nutritionist, GP.

Name: Alien Species
Cause: Being from another planet
Cure: Being taken away by the government
Animation: Third eye
Diagnostic process: GP, General Diagnostic, X-Ray, Scan, Research Department, Poof

Name: MacGyver syndrome
Cause: A sudden blow to the head. Thinks all problems can be solved with everyday objects.
Cure: A long talk with the psychiatrist, maybe exposure to real handymen in action.
Animation: None
Diagnostic process: GP, Psychiatrist, GP

Name: Desert Island Castaway
Cause: Shipwrecked on a desert island and now dependent on coconuts and calling people Friday.
Cure: Help with transitional diet and a talking to.
Animation: Robinson Crusoe outfit
Diagnostic process: GP, Nutritionist, Psychiatrist, Ward, GP

Name: Mexican hat syndrome
Cause: A spell of acute chilli con carne consumption
Cure: Surgery to remove the hat
Animation: A large Mexican hat
Diagnostic process: GP, Nutritionist, Surgery, Ward

A nutritionist who'll help people with food related illnesses. Should have a well-stocked fridge and mini-bar.
A library, with an eccentric librarian who'll occasionally go hunting for overdue books in the wards and offices.

[piethief100]

Name: Food poisoning
Cause: Becoming convinced that watching TV cookery programmes qualifies one to prepare complicated dishes.
Symptoms: A volatile concoction of fluids erupting from multiple orifices.
Cure: A nurse administers a liquified doner kebab to remind the patient of the value of junk food.
Diagnostic process: GP. Psychiatric. Pharmacy.

Name: Erectile dysfunction
Cause: A predilection to anti-social DIY.
Symptoms: A multitude of separate injuries sustained whilst erecting furniture and shelves.
Cure: A trained psychiatrist must convince the patient to give-up DIY for the sake of their family and friends.
Diagnostic process: GP. X-ray. Psychiatric.

[brendan221]

Name: Chronic Sneezing
Cause: Flies continually landing on the patients nose
Symptoms: No longer receiving a "bless you" for each sneeze
Cure: A mixture of cough syrup and mortein is snorted through the nose
Diagnostic process: GP. General Diagnosis, Cardio